You're within me, ALWAYS!

I can easily feel lost and worried, because I'm the kind of person who always like to have a plan a head for tomorrow, but God is teaching me to let go of that and to trust Him, and knowing that by planning for my future or worrying about it wont take me anywhere! I spend most of my time imagining my future, that I miss enjoying my present and what God provide me for the day, and because I try to play God planning what's good and bad for me from my own human limited perspective, there's actually no room for God to be my partner and to guide my steps. How can I take control over my future when it's not even real yet? and this is the moment when I'll start to freak out and feel alone and lost. It's amazing cause those feelings are the result of me choosing to put God aside of my future planning process.

But because My God and Father is Almighty and Loves me so much, I had one of my best times with Him this morning when it was clear to me more than ever what does it mean to have the Holy spirit within me?

To have the Holy Spirit is to have God within me,
everywhere I go, everything I do You're within me,
in every pain, in every gain You're within me,
in every storm, in every dream You're within me,
in every hope, in every fall You're within me,
in every tear, in every fear You're within me.

I'm NEVER alone, You never meant for me to be alone, I have the Holy Spirit, So I can always feel you within me and for that I'm so thankful.

How can I feel lost or pain or worried, when I have you within me in every second of my life!

I pray that I will always allow the work of the Holy Spirit in my life, to let you guide me in my path, and when it's hard I'll still try to listen to your words and obey. I want you to be in control, I just don't know how sometimes, show me teach me.

Amen

You and I will meet....I believe in that dream!

what happened to the dream, that one day you and I will meet.

I look around and my dreams are pieces all around me. Am I loosing it?! Should I let go?! Should I wake up?! I don't want to let go of you. I know it'll take time, but I want my happy ending, I'm waiting for my dream to come true, that one day you and I will meet, and everything around me will stop and I'll wake up to find you here next to me, knowing that your face will be the first thing to see in the morning and the last thing to see before I go to bed, knowing that I'll love you with all of my heart and we'll grow old together.

I know that even when we are apart you were always a part of me and in your heart there was always place for me. I will hold on to my dream that one day you and I will meet. I know that only few people can afford to dream and fight for their dreams and believe in them and wait patiently for their dreams to come true and I choose to be one of them.

I choose to wait for you knowing it gets hard sometimes and lonely other times, but to know how much I will be safe in your arms when you hug me, to see the spark in your eyes when you see me, to know that when we are apart we cant wait to meet again. Makes it all feel like a piece of a chocolate cake!

Even when we disagree or have our conflicts we know it's a part of real life, it doesn't change anything cause we'll choose to love, serve and sacrifice for one another, cause by the end of the day you and I are one! it doesn't matter who wins or loses cause you and I are together now, we are one!

So let's hang in there, cause I have the dream that one day our life will change forever, when you and I will meet

And I'm back!!

I was walking to my work today having this big smile on my face enjoying a beautiful morning and listening to Taylor Swift. I had this feeling that everything is good, I felt beautiful, happy and young, that I got this energy that I can do anything I want, and that I still have a lot to give and a lot to experience!! But the truth is when I think about it, my life is more kinda falling apart, I really have no reason at all to have this smile on my face, but I do and I'll enjoy it while I still have it. I believe that the time I took away from God and the way I always felt His love even when I was far, made me realize more how much He really cares and it has nothing to do with how good I'm or what I can do or accomplish, cause even in my worse shape, when I was mad and need to have my space, He never forgot that He's my DADDY, and His arms were always open to hug me and take care of me.

Wow I think I kind of know how the prodigal son felt!! To have a Dad that will always take you back, even when you know you don't deserve it.

There will always be the WHY?
& There will always be the RUNNING FATHER!

Thank you, It feels so good to be back

Sue!

She is one of my close friends I told you about before. She's amazing and we are even closer now since we talk daily on gtalk, but yesterday she did something that really touched my heart. She drove me all the way back to Maadi from heliopolis, knowing that she'll be late and that she really hate driving!!

I think sometimes people do suprise you and in my case it was really GOOD suprise.

Sue, THANK YOU. It really meant a lot to me.

knocking on Heaven's door!!

Will you open the door?!

Will this feeling go away?

Will I feel you close again?

Will I find peace?

Will you take me back?

Will you let me in?!

Even when I don't want to listen. God still speaks!!!

Psalm 9:10
Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.


Psalm 37:5
Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this.

Isaiah 55:8
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.

Jer 29:12
Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

Goodbyes!!!

I hate saying goodbyes, they are painful and hard. We are four close friends, different personalities yet somehow we got a lot in common. We always have great time together, we cry and laugh together. We never though that we'll say goodbye. But it all started about a year ago, when we told Sara goodbye for a year, she got a job offer at Bahrain which I believe was a great experience for her, but it was hard times not having her around, sharing life, catching up, but she's here now and that's what counts. But couple of months after that we found out that Jess is going to UK for a job offer, which is great for her, we all were praying for that, but it's harder cause she doesn't know when she'll be back and it's just annoying and hard just thinking about it.

Why do we have to say goodbye or later or till we meet again?
Why cant we just stay the same?
Why does everything change so fast?
Why can't things just last?

So I will hold to all the good funny memories we had. Girls we'll always be together no matter how many miles we are apart

Soften my heart, Lord!

I don't doubt your love, I don't doubt your care. You are my God, I believe all you promises, I know you're holy and trustworthy. But I'm torn apart between what I know and believe deep inside of me and what my logic and facts tells me. I know you hear my prayers, I know you care I have no doubt about that, but at the same time there's no reply, which makes me feel angry and want to blame you for being slow or not caring enough but that would be wrong, I would be lying to myself to justify being distant from you, to give myself excuse for my anger to grow, for my heart to ignore your voice!

What shall I do? For I know that Your ways and my ways could be different sometimes.

I want you but honestly I don't want to let go of my anger yet. I feel I have the right to be angry, but again who am I to judge my God, the creator of heaven and earth? I'm still alive because you still want me here, I'm saved for eternity because of your grace. Do I really have any right to tell you how to get things done? Do I have any right to get upset when things get on the edge? Do I have any right to blame you when I feel where is my reward for being a good girl recently? Do I have the right to questions your ways?

OMG WHO AM I TO THINK I CAN TALK TO GOD THIS WAY? If it shows anything it shows your extreme love for me, as your child I'm hitting my head against the wall and You patiently waiting for me to stop yelling and screaming, so you can talk to me and comfort me and give me peace. You dont want me to go through the hard times alone, but will I give you the chance to do that, or will I be stubborn, wanting things my ways, because I feel I waited so long for your ways! I love you so much and I'm so sorry I cross the line sometimes! Soften my heart because I still can't let you in!!

Thank you for being patient with me!!

I'm PISSED!

Do you know how much I'm frustrated right now? YES
Do you know how much I'm pissed right now? YES
Are you willing to do something? SOON
soon like my soon or yours? SOON, BE PATIENT

I've been patient for so long, I kept my word, I followed your ways, but I feel that you just don't listen! What can I do to get your attention?
when will you do something? when will I see an action?
Why did I ever listen to you and came back? I'm so mad at you. At least before I did whatever I want and when it got bad I knew it was my decision and my responsibility. But now I'm waiting for you and it doesn't seem you even hear me!

The annoying part is deep inside, I feel it's not true, You love me so much and you do care. You do listen and share my pain. But I'm so pissed right now that I don't want to hear that.

I don't even want to hear what you got to say.
I'm done with talking,
I need action!

We all need L O V E!

Who will love me for me? 

Not for what I have done or what I will become

Who will love me for me?

‘Cause nobody has shown me what love, what love really means.

 Love me - JJ Heller 

When I first heard this song, I almost cried and it hit me deeply that in some point, some level of our lives we all need to feel loved and appreciated. It's amazing how by very simple things you can touch someone's life. Who would ever imagine that a smile or a good morning greeting or a simple question like how're you doing today? can make a difference! 

I believe if everyone started to show love to the people in his/her community we'll make a difference. Just to be nice to the people around us, to treat them the way we want them to treat us, to let them see the love of our Father in action, I do believe that we won't only make one another feel loved but we'll be fulfilling one of the great purposes of life... Loving community

I'll start by myself, starting from today I'll try to love people more and go the extra mile cause you never know who desperately need just to feel that you do care, that they do matter!

Love..... All what we need is love.

BASATA Beach!!

What I miss the most about Basata is waking up hearing the sound of the sea!!

Basata is my Heaven here on Earth... Its the most beautiful place I've ever seen, it's peaceful. God created everything perfect, and it's hard to be surrounded by blue sea, mountains and trees and don't fall in love with the creator, who created something that amazing and perfect for me to enjoy. I just spend the weekend there and it was really hard to leave, oh how I wish if I just can live there! It also was a great time to spend with Gordon and Liz, we share Basata Bond now :)
It was a great time, and it gets better when Gordon and I started to talk and I shared with him one of my fears. That I'm afraid that I might not meet my Mr.Right, and I'm not sure if I'm ready for the idea that there's a chance that I'll be single. Period! Honestly I don't think I want that. I want to get old with the man I love, I also might want to have kids and grandchildren one day, I don't know may be! But I know for sure that my Daddy got all the best for me, it's just sometimes I got scared or forget that He's ALWAYS watching over me and there's no need to worry. Oh Daddy, help me to remember your promises always.
Thanks for being a supportive friend Gordon!


So this is one of my Precious moment and I'm sure there's a lot more to come!!

Find out your Can't stand and Must haves!!

Must Haves.......Cant Stands

My sister Kelly and I did that last week, it's amazing how reading through this makes me wonder what's the kind of man am looking for....and the answer was interesting since I only can choose 10 from each, So I though of sharing it with you!

Must Haves:

1.Chemistry

2.communication

6.strong character

18.Industrious

22.Self-confident

23.Unassuming

25.Curious

28.Family life

41.Spirituallity

50.Passionate

Cant stands:

3.Depressed

7.Anger

29.Punctuallity

38.Addiction

8.Self-centered

20.Childish

28.Intruding family/friends

30.Flirt

33.Poor hygiene

44.Extremly shy

My first post!!

Well I know this's my first post, and I don't know from where to start!! So let's pretend that you already know everything about my past and I'm in the middle of our talk where I'll be sharing "My precious moments" with you.
Talk to you soon